Letting Go

         I've been going through ups and downs this past week with my emotions!  I would love to tell you that I am tough and never cry.  I would be lying to you (just ask my friend Linda who wrote a poem about my tears!).  I started to become overwhelmed with all the projects that need to be accomplished before leaving.  I was feeling discouraged and down in the dumps. Despair was starting to creep up into my heart.  Its an ugly thing when we start to feel sorry for ourselves!  Just when I thought I would give way to screaming, Wes called through on Skype!  He has a way of calming my "what ifs" and "I can't do it" attitude.  I bawled.

      I told him how I was struggling with letting go.  Letting go of furniture, toys, clothes, and all kinds of other miscellaneous things (like letting go of leaving America, my family, etc)  Wes would be proud of me that I have been selling, selling and doing more selling, but I get annoyed with myself for getting choked up over stupid things!  I am even more sentimental with family heritage stuff, especially when it comes to pictures, baby items, and heirlooms (although I don't have many).  I cried when I lovingly wrapped up some items in bubble wrap and marked the box with my children's names.  I could not help but think that the next time I would see those items would be when I possibly pass it onto my future daughter-in-laws.  My mother-in-law did the same thing so many years before (getting ready to leave for PNG) and I was the future recipient of some of her beautiful possessions!  Wes encouraged me and I felt a little more life creep back into my body.

     I was going through my jewelry box later that evening and I found my class ring from years ago.  I read the inscription I had put on the band.  It said, "Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."  That's right!  I was neglecting to let God strengthen me!  I needed to give all my worries and emotions back to Him (can you tell I struggle with this in my life?)!

     God helped strengthen me through my friend, Juanita, the next morning.  She called me up and rescued me from the chaos of packing.  We spent the entire morning and afternoon out eating and shopping!  I had so much fun with her.  I'm so thankful for friends that will help "strengthen" me and put a smile back on my face!

     So, today I am back at making decisions about our things, but with a better attitude!  I've decided that this life purging session is actually good for myself and our family!  With every item that leaves the house, I feel a little lighter and less weighed down by my worldly possessions.  I have set up the dining room as "command central".  This is where the heart of all the sorting and packing is happening!  Closets and drawers are being emptied and put in here.  It is chaotic to say the least!  I do have one room in the house where I find comfort (and ice cream)...that room would be my new lovely kitchen!  I feel at peace in there.  This place makes me happy when I go and get a drink of water!  Its the ONLY room in the whole house that is not being torn apart.  Please continue to pray that I will stay focused and not let my emotions try to take over me again!  I have been blessed with so many families who have made a commitment to pray for us...and for that I am truly thankful!